Mark my words ... no one is obligated to be kind to you just because, nor is anyone entitled to kindness being bestowed upon them. Great philosophers and advocates of peace have proposed a noble argument that refutes my claim, suggesting that we should be kind even to our enemies in spite of their behavior against us. I do agree with this approach, but I live in Los Angeles, CA where simply being social can be equated to pulling teeth around strangers who deliberately cling to a self imposed sense of exclusivity that prevents them from being inviting. Please believe me when I say, I am able to identify the difference between being shy and being a closed person.
While we should all strive to take the high road and exude kindness at all times, kindness functions as a two way street. You must be and give kindness to receive and be surrounded by kindness.
In my social venturing, the volume of people I have encountered who behave based on the expectation that kindness will not be the first response to their invitation of friendship is mind boggling. As a result, they become conditioned to needing familiar people around them when they go out or they just avoid being social for fear of being rejected by those who are unfamiliar.
It is a damnable shame that closed people have such unnatural and undeserved influence over the socially harmonious norms of society. The concept of the "Mean Girls" clique is the perfect example that has even been adapted into a feature film, yet this concept is by no means gender specific. Those with beauty, popularity and privilege and many other gender, racial, or common interest groups self segregate themselves from the majority, forming closed social groups. I do not object to a person choosing to only surround themselves with similar, like minded people, but there is no excuse for being unkind to those who differ based on means or appearance, etc.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if these closed off people made a concerted effort to be welcoming? Can you imagine the empowerment, influence and collective good that would permeate the social landscape? It would be amazing; a metaphorical seasoning of culture and kindness on the stew of life. Unfortunately, too many people feel that being closed and unkind is worthier of esteem.
Believe this: "There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness." - Cicero
Whatever your experience has been, you will expand your circle of friends and increase the quality of that circle if you exist as an invitation of kindness, believing that in doing so, kindness will be reciprocated. If it is not, then that person has saved you from making a poor choice in who to welcome into your life. As the old adage says, you are a reflection of the company you keep.
Be an invitation of kindness and prepare for your life to be enriched.
Grateful Brand was created to serve as a reminder of the importance of being grateful, expressing this gratitude through positive messaging and acts of kindness.
Showing posts with label potential. Show all posts
Showing posts with label potential. Show all posts
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I am Afraid of Saying "God"
Grateful Brand was created to encourage universal love, kindness and gratitude, not to endorse nor promote any religion. With that being said, as the creator of this blog, I am deeply inspired by my own personal spirituality and many love promoting figures of various faiths.
As the title of this post may incite, how can one be afraid of saying "God," especially one who claims to be rather in tune with many qualities that God supposedly embodies?
For centuries, men of self proclaimed devout faith have interpreted and enforced the abiding of precise criteria that, according to their interpretations, must be met to be loved in the eyes of God and to receive the affection of their communities.
While I do not approve of how the concept of sin is used to strangle good people into submission, as human beings, sin abounds, yet the degree of consequence for most of these sins is, in reality, quite benign. You need only repent your sin to receive love. Many faiths assert that their followers are loved unconditionally in spite of their sins. But what is one to do when an innate otherness forces them outside the parameters of the criteria of good men and women?
This is my predicament. As a gay man, I have struggled with faith for years. I have even gone through an extended period of not believing simply because atheism or being agnostic made sense. More importantly, not believing made it easy to simultaneously expel the variable of emotion that so often goes hand in hand with faith.
As I have matured, the scope of my beliefs and wants have evolved, which has resulted in me seeking out a belief system and medium for expressing what I feel. Gratitude has become the basis of this belief system and I attend a nondenominational church to express this gratitude to the Universe.
I have become comfortable with saying "the Universe" because the usage of "God" has been manipulated, skewed and bastardized to an alarming degree. Some of the most vehement proponents of Christianity seemingly hold the usage of "God" hostage, exploiting what should be synonymous with love for the purpose of hate. The Westboro Baptist Church and their website, www.godhatesfags.com, is an extreme example. But they are not the catalyst for my struggle with faith.
Friends, family and colleagues, in casual conversation, have all said that the presumed choice of being gay is wrong and a sin in the eyes of God, yet some of the same people have asserted that God created the Universe and everything in it in his image ... and God makes no misstates. So where does this leave me?
In America, I am free to live my life, though there are people who petition and vote for the limitation of my liberties in contrast to heterosexuals. Unfortunately, the world at large is much crueler. There are people whom I will never meet but would justify my death by saying, "it is God's will." This puts things into perspective. I am a good person who avoids uncomfortable conversation about faith for fear of rejection. Imagine being a good person but being subjected to the death penalty for falling in love.
I say, "the Universe," because no one will object to my open sexuality in association, and therefore I feel safe. My belief system is neutral and thus, I am comfortable. Conversations regarding my belief in the infinite power and possibility enveloped in the Universe never result in me defending myself nor being shamed or demeaned.
This neutrality also allows me to affirm and celebrate who I am. In 1855, the excentric poet, Walt Whitman, penned his most famous work, Song of Myself, in his book, Leaves of Grass. The first stanza of this poem reads, "I celebrate myself." I literally wear this quote as you will notice.
Being able to affirm ones sense of self worth and feeling balanced in mind, body and spirit is a wonderful sensation. But in spite of my affirmation, I am gripped by a lingering fear that pauses my confidence when wanting to live fully and boldly as a good person who wants to believe in God. Because of this fear, I have relegated myself to the Universe. Some might argue that they are one in the same but in my psyche, I have become accustomed to an alternative as a result of mankind stripping away my equality; denouncing my otherness as a flaw.
Recently, I was moved by the compassionate words of a brilliant man who was bold enough to voice the confidence I wish I had regarding his conviction. With ease and eloquence, Jordan Bach--writer, blogger, advocate, uncle and all around good guy--championed via Youtube that, "God loves gays." From a personal standpoint, I have wanted to believe and embrace this without ever having a second thought, but it has been so painfully difficult to ignore the hate that many faithful people cling to and use as weapons. Jordan wears an amazing shield. That shield is love.
I first saw Jordan's video on the Huffington Post and I was moved to tears because I knew that even though he and I may never meet and I may never have the opportunity to shake his hand and thank him for his poise and strength directly, I knew that he stood with me in solidarity, and for that I am exceedingly grateful.
As the title of this post may incite, how can one be afraid of saying "God," especially one who claims to be rather in tune with many qualities that God supposedly embodies?
For centuries, men of self proclaimed devout faith have interpreted and enforced the abiding of precise criteria that, according to their interpretations, must be met to be loved in the eyes of God and to receive the affection of their communities.
While I do not approve of how the concept of sin is used to strangle good people into submission, as human beings, sin abounds, yet the degree of consequence for most of these sins is, in reality, quite benign. You need only repent your sin to receive love. Many faiths assert that their followers are loved unconditionally in spite of their sins. But what is one to do when an innate otherness forces them outside the parameters of the criteria of good men and women?
This is my predicament. As a gay man, I have struggled with faith for years. I have even gone through an extended period of not believing simply because atheism or being agnostic made sense. More importantly, not believing made it easy to simultaneously expel the variable of emotion that so often goes hand in hand with faith.
As I have matured, the scope of my beliefs and wants have evolved, which has resulted in me seeking out a belief system and medium for expressing what I feel. Gratitude has become the basis of this belief system and I attend a nondenominational church to express this gratitude to the Universe.
I have become comfortable with saying "the Universe" because the usage of "God" has been manipulated, skewed and bastardized to an alarming degree. Some of the most vehement proponents of Christianity seemingly hold the usage of "God" hostage, exploiting what should be synonymous with love for the purpose of hate. The Westboro Baptist Church and their website, www.godhatesfags.com, is an extreme example. But they are not the catalyst for my struggle with faith.
Friends, family and colleagues, in casual conversation, have all said that the presumed choice of being gay is wrong and a sin in the eyes of God, yet some of the same people have asserted that God created the Universe and everything in it in his image ... and God makes no misstates. So where does this leave me?
In America, I am free to live my life, though there are people who petition and vote for the limitation of my liberties in contrast to heterosexuals. Unfortunately, the world at large is much crueler. There are people whom I will never meet but would justify my death by saying, "it is God's will." This puts things into perspective. I am a good person who avoids uncomfortable conversation about faith for fear of rejection. Imagine being a good person but being subjected to the death penalty for falling in love.
I say, "the Universe," because no one will object to my open sexuality in association, and therefore I feel safe. My belief system is neutral and thus, I am comfortable. Conversations regarding my belief in the infinite power and possibility enveloped in the Universe never result in me defending myself nor being shamed or demeaned.
This neutrality also allows me to affirm and celebrate who I am. In 1855, the excentric poet, Walt Whitman, penned his most famous work, Song of Myself, in his book, Leaves of Grass. The first stanza of this poem reads, "I celebrate myself." I literally wear this quote as you will notice.
Being able to affirm ones sense of self worth and feeling balanced in mind, body and spirit is a wonderful sensation. But in spite of my affirmation, I am gripped by a lingering fear that pauses my confidence when wanting to live fully and boldly as a good person who wants to believe in God. Because of this fear, I have relegated myself to the Universe. Some might argue that they are one in the same but in my psyche, I have become accustomed to an alternative as a result of mankind stripping away my equality; denouncing my otherness as a flaw.
Recently, I was moved by the compassionate words of a brilliant man who was bold enough to voice the confidence I wish I had regarding his conviction. With ease and eloquence, Jordan Bach--writer, blogger, advocate, uncle and all around good guy--championed via Youtube that, "God loves gays." From a personal standpoint, I have wanted to believe and embrace this without ever having a second thought, but it has been so painfully difficult to ignore the hate that many faithful people cling to and use as weapons. Jordan wears an amazing shield. That shield is love.
I first saw Jordan's video on the Huffington Post and I was moved to tears because I knew that even though he and I may never meet and I may never have the opportunity to shake his hand and thank him for his poise and strength directly, I knew that he stood with me in solidarity, and for that I am exceedingly grateful.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
A Letter For You: February
Hey there Readers,
Where did this month go!?
So many wonderful things have happened in February and the horizon is glowing. The saying, "time flies when you're having fun," is absolutely true. However, in transitioning from January to February, I found myself a little nervous. My goal is to post to Grateful Brand every day for a year unless I am simply unable to. Facing the rest of 2012, I wondered, "How am I going to continue this momentum? Where will I find enough inspiration to post every day?"
The answer I was searching for was obvious, but I am sharing it with you as well because we all can benefit from doing more of it.
Pay more attention.
If you are willing to pay greater attention to your surroundings, heighten your collective awareness and sharpen your senses, you will quickly realize that the Universe will provide you with the information or inspiration you seek. The worry stemming from my presumed inability to produce has given way to confidence because I trust that inspiration will present itself. I just have to be available to see it.
In other news, it's a Leap Year! This means there is one extra day in 2012. Today, February 29, is that day. Now that you are thinking in extras and surpluses, consider this: every day you wake up is an extra day. Celebrate yourself, celebrate life! Pursue those goals and dreams now! There will come a day when we all run out of extra days so make the most of today and every day henceforth, for we are not guaranteed our ration of time, let alone extra.
Keep a journal to collect your ideas and things that inspire you. Once you get into the habit, you will look back over what you have compiled and be very impressed with the positivity, the sources, your interests, wisdom, paths you should consider, etc.
Again, as always, I thank you for following me on this journey of gratitude and I thank you for sharing Grateful Brand with those you know.
Gratefully,
Dane
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Timing and Gratitude
Observe due measure, for right timing is in all things the most important factor. - Hesiod, Greek didactic poet (~800 BC)
When is it time to be grateful?
It would be easy for me to write a finger wagging paragraph on why you need to be grateful right now and always, but I do not believe that gratitude is something that anyone can force upon another nor do I think it is appropriate to do so. This applies to forcing any belief on another because you assume to know what's best for them better than they themselves do.
I speak of gratitude because I know and live the benefits of being grateful day to day but for others, gratitude is simply not a core influence. There is nothing wrong with this and I do not believe that varying degrees of being grateful simultaneously determine whether or not you're a good person.
I believe that gratitude is an enhancement to the quality of life we can potentially live and that of the world around us. I think of it, as applied to myself, in two ways: as a metaphorical brand, as if I have been permanently labeled 'grateful' and as a gyroscope of sorts; an inner mechanism or balancing force keeping me allied with that which is important to me. This includes a desire of wanting to be aligned with all that is good in the Universe.
If you've ever gazed through a telescope at planets and stars millions of light years away, you'll begin to appreciate how small we really are and how insignificant our existence is. In the grand scheme of the Universe, time is a concept that, as far as human beings know, only serves us, on our planet. Whether you believe in a divine or otherwise influence or not, it is very hard to argue the validity of whether or not everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason.
I opt for playing it safe. I am grateful now and for all that has yet to come, if only for the opportunity to be present, regardless of circumstance. Because of this, my life is enhanced. In a way, I feel a sense of being prepared.
For others, gratitude comes in the wake of something monumental. It could be good, it could be bad. I cannot be precise, but odds do exist that there will come a time when you will wish you had been grateful for a time long gone when you had or experienced much less or much more.
If I were to answer my initial question from a personal standpoint, I would say that there really is no designated time to be grateful. I want to be aligned with the Universe which, to my understanding, is infinite and thus, so is my gratitude.
So, for me, there is no timing. I am infinitely grateful.
When is it time to be grateful?
It would be easy for me to write a finger wagging paragraph on why you need to be grateful right now and always, but I do not believe that gratitude is something that anyone can force upon another nor do I think it is appropriate to do so. This applies to forcing any belief on another because you assume to know what's best for them better than they themselves do.
I speak of gratitude because I know and live the benefits of being grateful day to day but for others, gratitude is simply not a core influence. There is nothing wrong with this and I do not believe that varying degrees of being grateful simultaneously determine whether or not you're a good person.
I believe that gratitude is an enhancement to the quality of life we can potentially live and that of the world around us. I think of it, as applied to myself, in two ways: as a metaphorical brand, as if I have been permanently labeled 'grateful' and as a gyroscope of sorts; an inner mechanism or balancing force keeping me allied with that which is important to me. This includes a desire of wanting to be aligned with all that is good in the Universe.
If you've ever gazed through a telescope at planets and stars millions of light years away, you'll begin to appreciate how small we really are and how insignificant our existence is. In the grand scheme of the Universe, time is a concept that, as far as human beings know, only serves us, on our planet. Whether you believe in a divine or otherwise influence or not, it is very hard to argue the validity of whether or not everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason.
I opt for playing it safe. I am grateful now and for all that has yet to come, if only for the opportunity to be present, regardless of circumstance. Because of this, my life is enhanced. In a way, I feel a sense of being prepared.
For others, gratitude comes in the wake of something monumental. It could be good, it could be bad. I cannot be precise, but odds do exist that there will come a time when you will wish you had been grateful for a time long gone when you had or experienced much less or much more.
If I were to answer my initial question from a personal standpoint, I would say that there really is no designated time to be grateful. I want to be aligned with the Universe which, to my understanding, is infinite and thus, so is my gratitude.
So, for me, there is no timing. I am infinitely grateful.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
With the First Sunrise Come Thoughts of Possibility
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. - Foster C. McClellan
I took these photos this morning in Runyon Canyon.
What a wonderful feeling it was to wake up this morning and feel completely refreshed. The obstacles I obsessed over yesterday seemly evaporated with the morning dew as possibility drenched the land for as far as the eye could see. It is mine and it is yours. There are no more excuses. May this be the first of many days that we realize and affirm the wealth of possibility within us. Express your gratitude for this potential by not letting it go to waste.
I took these photos this morning in Runyon Canyon.
What a wonderful feeling it was to wake up this morning and feel completely refreshed. The obstacles I obsessed over yesterday seemly evaporated with the morning dew as possibility drenched the land for as far as the eye could see. It is mine and it is yours. There are no more excuses. May this be the first of many days that we realize and affirm the wealth of possibility within us. Express your gratitude for this potential by not letting it go to waste.
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