'Tis Better to have Loved

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all. 

- Alfred Tennyson

If not Tennyson's most famous quote, these four lines from In Memoriam: 27 are certainly among his most revered. The truth captured in this stanza is obvious yet, for some, not easy to personally admit.

When relationships end, it is instinctual to begin patching the wounds of heartache. Some people feel a sense of failure, others may feel betrayed or slighted. Some couples may amicably recognize the necessity of parting ways but regret the circumstances that lead to their decision. Others may feel completely victimized while some simply grow apart. Lets not forget the commitment, "Till death do us part." There are indeed some couples who still hold true to their vows. 

Whatever the cause of your breakup may be, consider this quote from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice: "Why, tis an office of discovery, love." 

Although I am taking the line out of its contextual usage, the interpretation of love being a perpetual state or condition of discovery, or continued experience of learning is very useful to having a very important realization.

Pain may be hard to ignore, but pain should not overshadow one of your greatest achievements. 

You loved. 

Think about what love does to people. Your rationale, composure, judgement and focus can all be eroded due to loving someone, yet you mentally and physically commit to them, forming one of the most beautiful unions that two people can have. 

This union may not last forever and, in fact, it may end terribly, but never lose sight of the fact that you loved.

To be able to say that you have loved is undoubtedly something to be grateful for. There are people in the world who go their entire lives without having shared their love with another; have never discovered what they are emotionally capable of achieving. 

The anguish associated with a love that has been lost is unavoidable, but take pride in having loved. Know what you are capable of and be open to the possibility of sharing love again.