Gratitude Is The Sign

The Grass Is Greener . . .

A dear and lovely friend inspired me today with her words of sincere, enlightened observation.

"The grass is greener wherever it's watered ... cultivated ... "

Most of us are used to the phrase, "The grass is always greener on the other side." Her spin on the classic saying injects not only truth and perspective into something almost cliche, but it invites us to take another look at our own "grass," if you will,  and reestablish an appreciation for the effort put forth into acquiring what we have. The grass may be greener on the other side now, but with care and attention, our humble plots may flourish and grow to be lush with bountiful opportunity, so much so that the other side will cease to matter. And even if the grass continues to be greener elsewhere,  we certainly do not deserve to set foot onto those greener pastures until we can say with assurance that we are grateful for that which we have today.

Fertilize your life with love, kindness and gratitude. Your grass will be admired through the fence of envy by those opportunistic souls who neglect their own in pursuit of what appears to be better. 

Quality of Life

Taken directly from Wikipedia, The term quality of life is used to evaluate the general well-being of individuals and societies. The term is used in a wide range of contexts, including the fields of international development, healthcare, and politics. Quality of life should not be confused with the concept of standard of living, which is based primarily on income. Instead, standard indicators of the quality of life include not only wealth and employment, but also the built environment, physical and mental health, education, recreation and leisure time, and social belonging.

We all can agree that these indicators are accurate measures by which we can assess the overall quality of our lives, but there is one big omission.

Your individual scale of gratitude can alter your outlook on any economic, social, political, environmental or personal indicator of the quality of your life. What truly matters most to you; that which you are sincerely grateful for--if identified and acknowledged--will bring to light a level of perspective that allows you to exist not on a vertical scale of positives and negatives, but rather a horizontal plain of quality. You need only explore that plain to discover new things and experiences to be grateful for, but what remains most important is that the negative aspect does not exist unless we allow it to exist.

The quality of our lives is heavily hinged upon what we are grateful for, pure and simple. Once we are able to identify what matters most to quantifying happiness, the indicators based on studies of economics and science become nothing more than lingering clouds.

Digging Deep

Sometimes, focusing on what we have to be grateful for is like drilling for oil on land that has already been tapped. The positives of life become miniscule in comparison to your woes and troubles. But like an oil company, you must keep drilling. You will find something be grateful for. It may take more time than you think you have left, more resources that you currently have and more resilience than you knew you had, but staying focused on being grateful will definitely pay off and lead you through the worst that life can muster.

If You Must Draw Comparisons

Of all the great human virtues, gratitude serves us the most. However, for far too many, gratitude is not regularly practiced, but sporadically triggered by experiences, images, or stories that bring to light how fortunate we are in comparison to others.

You often find these instances of grateful enlightenment had by travelers to third world countries, where fresh water is barely accessible, food is scarce and human safety pales in comparison to more developed, economically sound countries.

While it is wonderful that people are able to have these experiences, it should not take seeing people who are less fortunate than you for you to realize and appreciate how fortunate you really are. With the advancement of media technology and social networking, the excuse of not knowing what lies beyond your comfort zones or your boundaries becomes weaker and weaker.

The world is all but exposed across both hemispheres and from pole to pole. We have the ability to know with the click of a mouse how the majority of human beings are fairing across the globe. So, if you must draw comparisons to someone else to be reminded of how grateful you should be, take a moment to assess your awareness for who you are, what you have and your place in this world. You may find reasons to be grateful that do not require drawing comparisons at all.

The Innateness of Gratitude

You Will Know It When You Cannot Say It

Gratitude is one of the least articulate of the emotions, especially when it is deep.
- Felix Frankfurter

It is true. Gratitude, at its deepest and most sincere, cannot be expressed through words. The voice of this gratitude does not manifest itself in an utterance from one's mouth. You may fumble over the simplest of phrases, stutter, and even gasp to catch your breath, but try as you might, this level of gratitude is not meant for language. It is communicated through feeling. 

The heart is steeped in emotion and with every pulse, the body becomes a living vessel of gratitude that may quiver and shake, but words will continue to fail, yet there is no mistaking the sensation. It will be known that you are grateful and no one will question your feeble tongue. The gratitude you feel in that moment will spread through you and touch those around you. The depth of that gratitude may be so great that words fail those within your presence, but an extended hand or warm embrace will be the indicators that the feeling is understood and shared.

If you have never experienced gratitude of this magnitude before, you will know it when you cannot say it.

Kindness is not Weakness

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. - Kahlil Gibran

If your strength manifests through being unkind, through being harsh and unwelcoming, through defending your vulnerability with walls of insults and offenses, then you, my friend, are not strong at all. You are a weak victim, shackled on a chain of cruelty that has hijacked your better nature; the best version of you that you can be. You are the quivering shadow behind a stone that hides from the sun as the rest of the world is baked in glowing warmth.

You will not know your true strength until you step into the light and stand against the darkness that once comprised the defense of your being. Only then will you see how weak you once were. 

"For Our Fallen" on Memorial Day

While this poem is most commonly read overseas in Europe during memorial ceremonies, it speaks to the memory of all men and women who have fallen in the midst of combat, whose valor and commitment to service should never be forgotten. For them, we are grateful.

For The Fallen
By Laurence Binyon

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children, 
England mourns for her dead across the sea. 
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit, 
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill: Death august and royal 
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres. 
There is a music in the midst of desolation 
And a glory that shines upon our tears. 

They went with songs to the battle, they were young, 
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow. 
They were staunch to the end against odds uncountered: 
They fell with their faces to the foe. 

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn. 
At the going down of the sun and in the morning 
We will remember them. 

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again; 
They sit no more at familiar tables at home; 
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time; 
They sleep beyond England's foam. 

But where our desires are and our hopes profound, 
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight, 
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known 
As the stars are known to the Night; 

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust, 
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain; 
As the stars are starry in the time of our darkness, 
To the end, to the end they remain. 

No One Likes Chain Letters

It's true. Well, perhaps a few people enjoy the chain letter, but few they shall remain. The fact is, chain letters are akin to email spam. While the intentions behind their creation may be well founded, I have never found a chain letter that did not frustrate me with unnecessarily generous spacing of text, cheap graphics and the all too familiar promise of good fortune on the condition that you forward the letter to however many people within a certain time frame to continue the chain. Break the chain and stand to gain nothing.

The popularity of chain letters has definitely peeked and plateaued over the years but there is an interesting similarity between chain letters and the relationship or gratitude and kindness. Through spreading a chain letter, a reward of some sort is almost always promised. Because of this promise, millions of people have and continue to forwarded these electronic nuisances, often times without even reading the content of the letter. Unfortunately, this naivety with emails is synonymous to opening the flood gates to hackers and viruses, but I digress.

The human race is effectively one big chain letter. Of course, we have among us our share of societal viruses, but being grateful for something heightens the propensity to be kind which, in turn, is appreciated by another who is thus more prone to forwarding the kindness that was previously bestowed upon him to another, due to the gratitude felt from having been the recipient of such kindness. See the chain effect?

Thinking of gratitude and kindness as a chain is fantastic because it adds a degree of responsibility to the concepts. For all of our acts of kindness and expressions of gratitude, we are adding a link to the chain that stretches back as far as human history will go. For all of our selfishness, greed, ingratitude and cruelty, we are taking a link away from the chain. What do we, as individuals, want to be responsible for?

Unlike an emailed chain letter, the rewards of kindness and gratitude are real. The world is made better when the chain is continued.

Select Advice from Brian Tracy

A Universal Language

From a cultural standpoint, there are many things that are considered universally binding among people from varying backgrounds and geographic locations. Music and laughter, for instance, are two things that almost every culture experiences uniquely within their own customs and traditions, but universally as well, due to the fact that all people can appreciate the power of music and can recognize when other people are happy even if there happens to be a language barrier.

The same can be said of gratitude.

Music, joy and laughter are felt, which is why they serve to bond many people who would ordinarily be unable to relate due to their cultural differences. With being grateful, there needn't be a vocalized expression for two people to share in an exchange of gratitude. It can be felt through a hand shake, an embrace, eye contact and can even be emitted through our auras, permeating the atmosphere around us with sentiments of appreciation and thanks.

You know when someone is grateful and appreciative. There is no need for an interpreter. You just know.

The Worst Punishment

The affects of shame are very powerful. There is no ego, no level of confidence nor any position of power that is impervious to the affects of shame.

Growing up, I had my share of punishments. There were timeouts, spankings, being grounded, having privileges stripped away, but these were commonplace punishments I expected when my behavior went awry. I rarely ever pushed the boundaries and repeated my offenses for fear of the expected consequences, but I never took anything meaningful away from being punished. Punishments were just the course of action taken by parents and grandparents when children misbehaved. I dealt with them as they came and got over them quickly.

The punishments that stuck with me and have served as lessons well into adulthood are the times when I was forced to admit that I was being ungrateful. It wasn't necessary for anyone to tell me that I was being ungrateful. My acute awareness seemingly beat away at my conscience for my gross displays of ingratitude. I knew I was wrong, my elders knew I was wrong, but coming face to face with a version of myself that I did not ultimately want to be in relation to my peers, my community and the world at large was a painful pill to swallow.

To see yourself as an ungrateful person floods your consciousness and the well of your soul with shame. It is embarrassing and dishonorable. To know that you were not raised to be ungrateful, but to have moments of unabashed ingratitude for things that would mean so much to other, less fortunate people simply leaves a solid notch on the staff of lessons to learn from as we grow.

There are many lessons notched into my staff, but I carry that staff with me at all times, deep within my subconscious. Those lessons aid me in maintaining a respectable posture. They remind me of the path I have traveled and the stops I have made in contrast to the path I want to be on.    

There Shall Be . . .

An Open Home

Today, I was reminded of one of the most poignant expressions of gratitude that one can experience. Opening your home to those you appreciate or in an effort to show kindness is a huge gesture.

Our homes are our sanctuaries, our refuges, the place where privacy is expected and, in most cases, guaranteed. When we open our homes to those we appreciate we effectively give thanks and offer a warmth that is uniquely special to the home.

Gratitude is best expressed through action and when we welcome people into our homes, we are saying welcome, but we are also saying, thank you, you are safe, you are not judged, you are present and you are important.  

The home is personal space, but a lot of good can be done by opening your door.

Incredible Wisdom from Maria Shriver

Recently, Maria Shriver gave the commencement speech at the Annenberg School of Communication's graduation ceremony where her own daughter was among the graduating class. In her twenty minute speech, the graduates as well as the world were given a glimpse of this magnificent woman and what has made her who she is.

In a world where "the state of communication is out of control", she asked that in the wake of the big question, "What are you going to do?" that the graduates take time to pause.

"The pause allows you to take a break, allows you to take a beat, it allows you to be in the moment."

With those moments of pause, she encouraged that the graduates make an effort to "change from criticism and fault finding to understanding and compassion, from nay say and name calling to acceptance and appreciation, from dissembling and dishonesty to openness and explanation, from screaming to speaking."

"Today I pray that you will be able to pause and spend time and give thanks for all who made this journey possible. I hope you will express gratitude to everyone who helped get you here. I hope that you will be grateful for all the love you have in your life and all the love that you have ever had in your life."

"I stand here as a deeply grateful woman, grateful for  the life that I have lived and the life that has brought me here; grateful for all the experiences that I have had that have made me the communicator that I am today."

Man's Weakness for Power

There is a saying: "Those who have the least, give the most." I have no statistical evidence to prove this, but in my experience working for various nonprofits and volunteering in my free time, the most incredible gestures of generosity I have been privileged to witness have come from those who have very little to begin with. These people give because they are grateful for what they have. Again, their possessions are few and their budgets are small, but they give of themselves, their time and what resources they have.

Power has the ability to change this. A humble man can become a tyrant with a grant of power, easily burying memories of a modest past. The Russian dictator, Joseph Stalin once said, "Gratitude is a sickness, suffered by dogs." The breadth of his influence allowed him to comfortably denounce a personal need to express gratitude for anything. He even went so far as to persecute those who spoke of gratitude for their presumed weakness. What is more frightening is that along the timeline of modern human history, Joseph Stalin's sentiments are not unique to him alone.

Throughout history, there have been dozens of leaders of various societal facets across Asia, Africa, Europe and the Americas who have wielded considerable power, yet have exercised this power with principles absent of gratitude.

Power enables mankind to climb metaphorical staircases that fuel promises of god-like status with every step. When you have climbed so high that you stand alone, it is easy for weakness to seep through the pours of better judgement, compassion and truth. When a man has the power to dictate that he is to be appreciated, there really is no point for him to be grateful.

Thankfully, laws of nature cannot be changed. No one is above being grateful. Those who believe they are will surely discover that the balance of life will deploy forces of every conceivable variety to strip away the power and influence that is so cherished.

Access

Think of everything that you have access to. Now think about how you would respond to losing that access.

Toilet paper, clean water, the internet, microwaves, fuel, soap, electricity, beds, air conditioning, manufactured clothing, cell phones, etc. We expect so much to exist with uninterrupted accessibility and that expectation only increases with every passing day.

What if our access was denied?

Los Angeles is such a status driven city. Many people go to great lengths to gain access to various establishments and events. Gaining access to some means more than anything. In contrast to these high profile outings, returning home and using the familiar necessities and amenities we become accustomed to becomes nothing more than a motion that is taken for granted.

In these modern times, we have access to so much. Let us not forget to be grateful for that which enables us to live modern lives. 

Gratitude and Kindness Will Work for You

Financial planners make their living by making your money work for you, but all financial investments come with a degree of risk. That level of risk can range from a fraction of a percent to high stakes gambles that have the potential to yield enormous returns, but carry odds of a million to one.

We invest for the purpose of gaining, to live comfortably and to ensure our futures. But again, higher returns often come with high risk.

What if we thought of gratitude and kindness as an investment? There are certainly returns to be made on being kind and grateful. The common perception is that for what we put forth, we are eventually met with a ten fold return. While it would be nice to think that people could simply be kind and grateful without expecting anything in return, one can expect that their quality of life is guaranteed to improve upon putting forth a solid investment of kindness and living gratefully, and all without the stress of added risk.

When if comes to your finances, invest wisely. When it comes to kindness and gratitude, invest abundantly.

A Valuable Lesson