Grateful Brand was created to serve as a reminder of the importance of being grateful, expressing this gratitude through positive messaging and acts of kindness.
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
Carol Burnett was absolutely right when she said these words and they apply to all of us. But the challenge that most of us face is initiating change.
Revelations happen all the time. These are the ideas, desires, wants, dreams, ambitions, and goals that flip our subconscious light switches and massage our gut instincts. Some fall by the wayside over time but others smolder in the recesses of our minds as nagging reminders of what could be in relation to what is. We all have those revelations that ignite excitement within us, but whatever happens to those revelations? Do you act upon them or do you allow them to retreat to safety?
Well, my friend, you should take a good hard look in the mirror, because you are a revolutionist. You have within you the militant force of "I can" and "I will" and "Yes" that can force any of your revelations to the front line of possibility. Of course failure is a very real aspect of that possibility, but without starting your inner revolution, there is no possibility. You are stagnant.
For some, the idea of a revolution, leap of faith or overhaul of self and career is the last thing you want to endure. But no matter what station in life you are in, you must remember that it is your life. You are the only one who can make the change you want to see happen. Once you have made up your mind that you want nothing more than to venture down that path, help will gravitate to you, but you must initiate the journey and supply yourself with enough motivational fuel to finish along side those who have helped you or completely alone.
Grateful Brand was created to encourage universal love, kindness and gratitude, not to endorse nor promote any religion. With that being said, as the creator of this blog, I am deeply inspired by my own personal spirituality and many love promoting figures of various faiths.
As the title of this post may incite, how can one be afraid of saying "God," especially one who claims to be rather in tune with many qualities that God supposedly embodies?
For centuries, men of self proclaimed devout faith have interpreted and enforced the abiding of precise criteria that, according to their interpretations, must be met to be loved in the eyes of God and to receive the affection of their communities.
While I do not approve of how the concept of sin is used to strangle good people into submission, as human beings, sin abounds, yet the degree of consequence for most of these sins is, in reality, quite benign. You need only repent your sin to receive love. Many faiths assert that their followers are loved unconditionally in spite of their sins. But what is one to do when an innate otherness forces them outside the parameters of the criteria of good men and women?
This is my predicament. As a gay man, I have struggled with faith for years. I have even gone through an extended period of not believing simply because atheism or being agnostic made sense. More importantly, not believing made it easy to simultaneously expel the variable of emotion that so often goes hand in hand with faith.
As I have matured, the scope of my beliefs and wants have evolved, which has resulted in me seeking out a belief system and medium for expressing what I feel. Gratitude has become the basis of this belief system and I attend a nondenominational church to express this gratitude to the Universe.
I have become comfortable with saying "the Universe" because the usage of "God" has been manipulated, skewed and bastardized to an alarming degree. Some of the most vehement proponents of Christianity seemingly hold the usage of "God" hostage, exploiting what should be synonymous with love for the purpose of hate. The Westboro Baptist Church and their website, www.godhatesfags.com, is an extreme example. But they are not the catalyst for my struggle with faith.
Friends, family and colleagues, in casual conversation, have all said that the presumed choice of being gay is wrong and a sin in the eyes of God, yet some of the same people have asserted that God created the Universe and everything in it in his image ... and God makes no misstates. So where does this leave me?
In America, I am free to live my life, though there are people who petition and vote for the limitation of my liberties in contrast to heterosexuals. Unfortunately, the world at large is much crueler. There are people whom I will never meet but would justify my death by saying, "it is God's will." This puts things into perspective. I am a good person who avoids uncomfortable conversation about faith for fear of rejection. Imagine being a good person but being subjected to the death penalty for falling in love.
I say, "the Universe," because no one will object to my open sexuality in association, and therefore I feel safe. My belief system is neutral and thus, I am comfortable. Conversations regarding my belief in the infinite power and possibility enveloped in the Universe never result in me defending myself nor being shamed or demeaned.
This neutrality also allows me to affirm and celebrate who I am. In 1855, the excentric poet, Walt Whitman, penned his most famous work, Song of Myself, in his book, Leaves of Grass. The first stanza of this poem reads, "I celebrate myself." I literally wear this quote as you will notice.
Being able to affirm ones sense of self worth and feeling balanced in mind, body and spirit is a wonderful sensation. But in spite of my affirmation, I am gripped by a lingering fear that pauses my confidence when wanting to live fully and boldly as a good person who wants to believe in God. Because of this fear, I have relegated myself to the Universe. Some might argue that they are one in the same but in my psyche, I have become accustomed to an alternative as a result of mankind stripping away my equality; denouncing my otherness as a flaw.
Recently, I was moved by the compassionate words of a brilliant man who was bold enough to voice the confidence I wish I had regarding his conviction. With ease and eloquence, Jordan Bach--writer, blogger, advocate, uncle and all around good guy--championed via Youtube that, "God loves gays." From a personal standpoint, I have wanted to believe and embrace this without ever having a second thought, but it has been so painfully difficult to ignore the hate that many faithful people cling to and use as weapons. Jordan wears an amazing shield. That shield is love.
I first saw Jordan's video on the Huffington Post and I was moved to tears because I knew that even though he and I may never meet and I may never have the opportunity to shake his hand and thank him for his poise and strength directly, I knew that he stood with me in solidarity, and for that I am exceedingly grateful.
So many wonderful things have happened in February and the horizon is glowing. The saying, "time flies when you're having fun," is absolutely true. However, in transitioning from January to February, I found myself a little nervous. My goal is to post to Grateful Brand every day for a year unless I am simply unable to. Facing the rest of 2012, I wondered, "How am I going to continue this momentum? Where will I find enough inspiration to post every day?"
The answer I was searching for was obvious, but I am sharing it with you as well because we all can benefit from doing more of it.
Pay more attention.
If you are willing to pay greater attention to your surroundings, heighten your collective awareness and sharpen your senses, you will quickly realize that the Universe will provide you with the information or inspiration you seek. The worry stemming from my presumed inability to produce has given way to confidence because I trust that inspiration will present itself. I just have to be available to see it.
In other news, it's a Leap Year! This means there is one extra day in 2012. Today, February 29, is that day. Now that you are thinking in extras and surpluses, consider this: every day you wake up is an extra day. Celebrate yourself, celebrate life! Pursue those goals and dreams now! There will come a day when we all run out of extra days so make the most of today and every day henceforth, for we are not guaranteed our ration of time, let alone extra.
Keep a journal to collect your ideas and things that inspire you. Once you get into the habit, you will look back over what you have compiled and be very impressed with the positivity, the sources, your interests, wisdom, paths you should consider, etc.
Again, as always, I thank you for following me on this journey of gratitude and I thank you for sharing Grateful Brand with those you know.
Light is used as a common metaphor for a myriad of positive things: good energy, ideas, divinity, a heavenly space or presence, love, enlightenment, clarity, etc. Interestingly, "the light" is usually something we must go to or search for and discover. This is easy to understand because from a very literal stand point, light--being the kind of light that we use to brighten our homes--does not come from within us, but from finding and flipping a switch on a wall or a lamp.
When considering all of the metaphorical possibilities of light, do we necessarily need to discover it as derived from some other entity or source?
In hundreds, if not thousands of films, there are those classic, "I see the light" moments when a character finally realizes something important as apart of the plot of the story. These "I see the light" moments happen regularly in reality as well. Of course, inspiration or transfer of knowledge from one person to the other or even a profound religious or spiritual experience can cause an inner light switch to be flipped on, but have you ever considered the possibility that you yourself are the light?
Well, now is the time to begin to not just consider the possibility, but to believe it and affirm it.
You are the light!
In our search for reason, answers, solutions and understanding it is easy to externalize the source of all these things because, for one, this is what many of us are taught and conditioned to do, but also because with internalizing comes a sense of responsibility and accountability that many people avoid.
Internalizing the source of metaphorical light may also require bolstering faith in yourself; a heightened sense of belief and confidence. Once you affirm this inner strength you need only look in the mirror. Instead of seeing the light as something separate that you must acquire, you will realize that you are indeed the light and have been the light even when you failed to realize it in the past.
You will no longer have to live your life in a cloud of thought synonymous to a vast dark room full of mislabeled switches. You will be the answer. You will be the reason, the solution, and you will be able to come to a degree of understanding and resolve unlike anything you've ever experienced before. You will be able to stand in the face of everything because you are the light and will cast your light on a path of success and happiness.
If not Tennyson's most famous quote, these four lines from In Memoriam: 27 are certainly among his most revered. The truth captured in this stanza is obvious yet, for some, not easy to personally admit.
When relationships end, it is instinctual to begin patching the wounds of heartache. Some people feel a sense of failure, others may feel betrayed or slighted. Some couples may amicably recognize the necessity of parting ways but regret the circumstances that lead to their decision. Others may feel completely victimized while some simply grow apart. Lets not forget the commitment, "Till death do us part." There are indeed some couples who still hold true to their vows.
Whatever the cause of your breakup may be, consider this quote from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice: "Why, tis an office of discovery, love."
Although I am taking the line out of its contextual usage, the interpretation of love being a perpetual state or condition of discovery, or continued experience of learning is very useful to having a very important realization.
Pain may be hard to ignore, but pain should not overshadow one of your greatest achievements.
You loved.
Think about what love does to people. Your rationale, composure, judgement and focus can all be eroded due to loving someone, yet you mentally and physically commit to them, forming one of the most beautiful unions that two people can have.
This union may not last forever and, in fact, it may end terribly, but never lose sight of the fact that you loved.
To be able to say that you have loved is undoubtedly something to be grateful for. There are people in the world who go their entire lives without having shared their love with another; have never discovered what they are emotionally capable of achieving.
The anguish associated with a love that has been lost is unavoidable, but take pride in having loved. Know what you are capable of and be open to the possibility of sharing love again.
History, despite it's wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
- Maya Angelou
I love history. To think of where we were five thousand years ago in relation to out present state never ceases to amaze me. Our planet is billions of years old, yet over the course of our paltry existence, humans have completely altered the course and rate of change. So many amazing inventions and accomplishments have catapulted the human race with remarkable speed far beyond our wildest dreams and expectations. Parallel to our rapid evolution though, have been many awful instances of violence and destruction; now historical scars on once gaping wounds. What ever you fixation may be, history is certainly available for study.
This brings me to personal history; our own unique set of experiences that dot the timelines of our lives. Looking back on my own, there are occurrences and periods of time that I once remembered with regret. There was a time when, if given the power to change history, I would have. But these feelings of regret have evolved into gratitude.
History makes you who you are today and how you live today will influence who you will be tomorrow. If you fail to acknowledge this truth you will be affirming a famous quote by Georg Wilhelm Hegel: "We learn from history that we do not learn from history." For many, this quotes reigns true. For many others, the past is dissected and ultimately interpreted in varying ways based on different view points and biases. However you remember or absorb history is pointless if you fail to learn from and use that knowledge constructively towards improvement.
Regardless of what your history is, you must not forget that we are ever malleable and capable of choosing a path of positivity. It often takes numerous obstacles scattered along our timelines for us to come to the realization that had it not been for those obstacles, you would not be enlightened to the possibility of change.
Be grateful for history and control that knowledge for a greater good.
Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.
- Robert F. Kennedy
I took these pictures in the fall of 2010 while working on a photo shoot in Calabasas, California. There were a few famous models being featured and about twenty five people in total between production staff and set crew. It was incredibly windy and we were vigilantly monitored by forestry officials to ensure that no fire hazards were left unattended--obviously, for good reason.
In the midst of the organized chaos that most photo shoots tend to be, this old leather chair--a set prop--commanded my attention more than anything else. The chair itself was beautiful and its positioning in the field with the rolling hills and mountains in the background was perfect.
It was a brilliant visual metaphor in so many ways. The image was almost prophetic. There were even moments when, between gusts of wind, I could almost hear it speaking to me. It was all very serendipitous as I was, at the time, longing for a sense of direction and feeling very small.
That chair mirrored how I felt about my place in this world. Instead of making strides to accomplish lofty goals, I was just present, doing what I had to do to get by because I had no other options. I was disappointed all the time and, in a way, things came to a head when I saw that chair: undeniably beautiful but sad. Then something magical happened.
One of the forestry officers was very kind and he and I spoke between takes. Gazing out across the landscape he whispered as if talking to himself, "Nothing here but dirt and dried grass, but I love this place."
At that moment I realized that nothing good would ever come to me until I learned to be grateful for my place in this world from moment to moment. No matter how hopeless or disillusioned I might become, if I wasn't grateful for simply having space to occupy and breath in my lungs, my ambitions would remain nothing but ideas. I would be left to sit in my metaphorical chair looking at all the opportunity around me, unable to grasp any of it because I wasn't grateful for where I was currently sitting.
You have a place in this world. Like everything else, that place will evolve over time. But it will either become an ever-confining cell or an expanse larger than you could have ever possibly imagined. What you are grateful for will determine this.
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. - Foster C. McClellan
I took these photos this morning in Runyon Canyon.
What a wonderful feeling it was to wake up this morning and feel completely refreshed. The obstacles I obsessed over yesterday seemly evaporated with the morning dew as possibility drenched the land for as far as the eye could see. It is mine and it is yours. There are no more excuses. May this be the first of many days that we realize and affirm the wealth of possibility within us. Express your gratitude for this potential by not letting it go to waste.
