Being Grateful is Sexy

Valentines Day is around the corner and millions of people are scrambling to plan romantic evenings with their significant others. Gifts, flowers, cards, chocolates, dinner reservations; you name it, it's probably being purchased. VISA, American Express and MasterCard appreciate your business.

All of this gift giving and plan making will inevitably lead to love making, but for those of you who are unsure of your Valentines Day prospects, let me share with you a surefire way to increase your appeal.

Be grateful. 

That's it. I know. Very simple.

Amidst all of the gift giving and plan making there are bound to be those people who simply lack the taste or awareness for making Valentines Day something that their significant other will want to remember, but most people will agree that showing sincere appreciation for the intention and effort put forth is far more appealing than ungrateful disappointment.

If you approach what is meant to be a special day with elevated expectations you are simply inviting disappointment. And if by chance your love interest strikes out all together, then perhaps this is a sign that you should set sail for different waters. You will not be served in any way by making a fuss. Be grateful for the sign and make your decisions.  

Hands down, gratitude is sexy. It shows awareness, appreciation, kindness, and a whole other slew of affirming adjectives without even saying them. You will surely captivate the attention of your love interest, make them feel special thus making them want you even more. And if your experience happens to pan out completely different, tell me about it at gratefulbrand@gmail.com.

For those singles out there, be extra good to yourself. I promise, you'll be grateful.

The Folly of Entitlement

The general cry is against ingratitude, but the complaint is misplaced, it should be against vanity; none but direct villains are capable of willful ingratitude; but almost everybody is capable of thinking he hath done more that another deserves, while the other thinks he hath received less than he deserves.
- Alexander Pope

What do we deserve?

Yes, there are laws in place that entitle people to rights or property, etc. but what else are we truly entitled to?

A friend of mine works in entertainment and recently elaborated on the lavish gifts and services that are bestowed upon celebrities that he frequently works for. I discovered that the gift bags that every Oscars participant receives are worth tens of thousands of dollars. Of course, I would expect that giving away such merchandise to exceptionally public figures would serve to bolster brand exposure, thus being another facet of a companies marketing. But my friend shared that some of these celebrities become accustomed to not just occasional gift bags, but to every day life being nearly free of charge.

My friend shared that because of an elevated sense of entitlement, a few of the people he works for often decline to tip drivers, waiters or other service providers, expect complementary service at bars and restaurants, will seek free lodging throughout their various travels, will only support local manufacturers if their products are gifted, and feel that lines of any sort are beneath them. He shared more personal instances that were on the cusp of being absurd but he assured me that what might seem like an exaggeration of ones character and day to day life was actually a modest summary. In short, the concept of being grateful for all of the opportunities, experiences, luxuries and perks that have been afforded to these rather privileged individuals, is beyond their need of consideration. In their minds, this is the way their lives are supposed to be.

Thankfully he was only speaking of a handful of people.

I would be lying if I said that I have lived my life without ever feeling entitled to anything. Lets be honest, if you work hard for something and it happens to not come into fruition, it is easy to feel a sense of unjust deserve. However, reality for most of us dictates that nothing in life is free.

For what we do earn or simply receive, gratitude is a natural response because most of us have experienced what it is to be denied something we want.

With money, influence and power, entitlement may come as a byproduct, but living as though you are entitled to the life you live is a gross mistake.

We all aspire to live well and happily, but to forgo being grateful is doing yourself and the world a disservice and as you have received, it can all be taken away.

Trust in Gratitude, Trust in Kindness

You must train your intuition -- you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.
 - Ingrid Bergman

Our world is a tough place to live in. Growing up, many of us are encouraged to pursue our goals and dreams but as adults we are often relegated to surviving week to week, pay check to pay check. Balancing the struggles of life in an often unkind environment only spurs people to heighten their defenses and mind their own business. Interactions between people are becoming increasingly terse and once tight knit communities now only know each other in passing. Yelling for help in some neighborhoods today would sadly be pointless as your cries would go unanswered.

In line with the Karmic beliefs of Hinduism and Buddhism, I believe that the energy you put forth into the world will be met with an equivalent, if not greater, energy in return.

Being defensive and unkind is guaranteed to be met with defensiveness and unkindness. Unfortunately, few people operate with the mindset of combating such negativity with kindness. To gain advantage, one offense is met with another offense until one person can lay claim to being the most offensive and thus, dominant, or one simply realizes that such engagements are fruitless and concedes.

Through being unkind and defensive we are inviting conflict into our lives. You can trust that this will be what you encounter if you live so negatively. This perpetual expectation of impeding conflict leaves you prepared, defensive, knowing that how fervently you believe in your ability to conquer external negativity is hinged upon how negative you can become. Many petty arguments have unnecessarily resulted in someone's death, and for what? To prove dominance and a greater ability to survive.

Trust that this is what being unkind and defensive will ultimately bring you.

Trusting in the benefits of kindness and gratitude is much harder. In many social settings being kind is viewed as a sign of weakness but this is not true.

Sometimes it takes tremendous courage and strength to be kind and grateful in the face of negativity but the balance of the Universe will reward your kindness and gratitude if you trust your actions.

It is easy to succumb to negativity when the world around you is negative, but the consequence of such social weakness can be irreversibly detrimental.

Amidst a sea of negativity, trust that being kind and grateful will see you through. You will be challenged again and again, but the reward for remaining steadfast is worth far more than not. 

What We Must Do: According to Albert Einstein

A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
- Albert Einstein

Famous for his contributions to math, science and physics, most acknowledge Einstein as a precise, calculating man. This, however, does not justly capture the full breadth of his aptitude for elevated thought.

There is no science to being grateful or showing compassion. There are no equations, laws or theorems that aid us in controlling our degree of consciousness in relation to the Universe. Compassion and gratitude are deeper entities, intangible; powerful in application and influence yet delicate when faced by the world's onslaught of negativity.

Compassion and gratitude are two ingredients that help compose the human spirit. We all share this recipe in our subconscious minds. Whether or not we bring our awareness of them to a heightened state of consciousness varies from person to person.

Einstein knew this and he knew that to live at our collective best, we must escape the prisons of ourselves.