Putting “Thank You” on a Scale

If your mothers or grandmothers were anything like mine, you’ll be able to attest to being constantly reminded of the importance of saying Thank You. As a child, if I received anything, be it a compliment, a snack, and on some occasions, even a scolding, the exchange would immediately be followed by that firm motherly voice, commanding, “What do you say?” By the time I received my queue to prove to whomever that I was a well-mannered child, I was usually fixated on something completely different. I was always quick to respond, but rarely was I able to maintain eye contact. This was forgivable. I was young.

Now, as an adult, being courteous is just standard protocol. I would go so far as to say that for most, it is akin to a reflex and, if you happen to lack this reflex, well then, you must be pretty important.

For the rest of you who remain in tune with your surroundings, I would like to give you something to ponder. What if we could apply a measurement to our Thank Yous, specifically, weight. This measurement would be a reflection of the degree of appreciation and sincerity associated with each individual Thank You that we utter. The heavier the Thank You, theoretically, the more appreciative and sincere you are. How heavy would the average of all of your Thank Yous be over the course of one month? Bear in mind that this is taking into consideration anything from thanking the bagger at your local grocery store to thanking the only compatible person in the world for voluntarily coming forth as a match for a vital organ transplant.

The point of this hypothesis is that the weight of a Thank You can mean the difference between someone wanting to return to their job the next day or not. It could be the unexpected boost that someone needs to feel like they matter in a world that doesn’t seem to care very much about them. You just never know.

With all of the technology at our disposal—regularly being carried—and because of how self-absorbed we all tend to be, I would wager that the average weight of a Thank You is pretty low, especially directed toward those whose occupations are solely designed to serve or convenience others.

Recently, I hosted a holiday gathering that also served as the makeshift birthday party for my friend, Pete’s, girlfriend. Not having very much money to put towards the occasion, I decided I was going to, instead, devote a little more time and creativity than I had initially planned. I bought some cheap wine, cooked a huge pot of Thai Yellow Curry and made a small Birthday Cake. Once the food was ready, I cleaned my studio apartment, put on some music and lit a mistletoe-scented candle. It was the best I could do but I knew it would be appreciated. Our little gathering went smashingly, candles were blown out, wishes were made and we finished the night in fine style.

The next day Pete called me. My immediate thought was that he had forgotten something but we briefly exchanged memories of the night before, laughing, but then he paused. “I needed to say Thank You again.” He told me how special he thought everything was and how much his girlfriend appreciated everything and I casually responded, “No worries, man. I’m glad you enjoyed.”

What Pete doesn’t know is that when I got home the night before, I looked at my place and thought, “I can’t do this again.” But his call changed everything. He didn’t have to, but Pete gave me a very heavy Thank You and knowing that my efforts were appreciated and knowing that I, as a person, was appreciated, meant a lot to me.

As you go forward, I expect that you will remain courteous, but I encourage you to put a little more weight behind your Thank Yous. Again, you never know what effect it may have.