"Not In My Backyard"

Meet "Robert" -

After an evening out with friends, I encountered Robert while walking back to my car. He was wrapped as you can see in the picture above in a striped blanket under a brightly lit bus stop awning.

Homeless people are everywhere in Los Angeles, but I took pity on Robert because it was cold out and he was coughing violently.

Robert wasn't far from where I was parked and I happened to have a case of water in my trunk. I pulled out a few bottles and returned them to him, quietly leaving them by his shoulder. I did not want to interact. I was tired and just wanted to hurry home. But upon my third or fourth step away I heard a muffled and raspy, "thank you" from beneath the blanket. I returned to him and asked if he wanted a ride to a shelter or to a hospital to which he replied, "No, thank you. There's no space. There's never any space. I'll be fine. Thank you."

I don't know how Robert ended up in his situation nor do I feel it matters very much. What alarms me is that his plight is the same as over 51,000 other people in Los Angeles county and in relation to volume, little is being done to combat this crisis.

It is very common to hear people complaining about the dense population of homeless people. "Something needs to be done," is the typical assertion.

Well, according to many government officials and homeless advocates, more shelters need to be built and more resources need to be allocated. But this requires space being provided or zoned accordingly and the reason why these shelters have not been built nor the resources allocated is because while people want the problem to go away, no one wants the problem addressed in their neighborhoods or in their local public spaces.

"Something needs to be done, but do it some where else." This is the attitude facing the unsheltered homeless population in Los Angeles county.

So, what are people like Robert to do? Where should he legally go to stay out of the way while trying to recover his health, his dignity, his livelihood and his morale?

We so often forget that Robert could very well be you or me with the loss of a job, a foreclosure or life just taking a turn for the worse. Mental illness or drug addiction could lead to homelessness. A series of frivolous poor decisions may even factor into the equation. Whatever the endless number of reasons may be, there are unfortunately far fewer solutions being offered and hands being extended to help.

If you read this and you have any compassion in your heart, please do something. Where ever you are. Every kind gesture, no matter how small, matters.

Have You Ever Judged the Homeless?

Meet Hugo.

I met him while walking Melrose Ave through West Hollywood. He and a companion were taking turns standing at an intersection with a sign that read, "Miracle Please." I initially paid them no attention as this is actually a common sight in Los Angeles, but Hugo politely asked me if I could tell him what time it was.

"4:32," I said. His thank you was quickly followed by, "Can you spare some change?"

So, I spared some change.

They were decent people. I asked them where they were from, where they were heading and if they had eaten today. One was from New York and the other was from Seattle.

Hugo's companion then asked if I knew anyone that liked LSD, a common hallucinogenic drug distributed in various circles from the homeless to socialites.

"Are you buying or selling," I asked.

"I just need to get rid of it to get some money. I know it's worth a little bit."

What would you have done at this moment? Logically, if you happen to be carrying LSD, or any drug for that matter, you're probably using it. Was I enabling them to continue a habit?

Odds are, the answer will allude me forever but I didn't give my change with the contingency that my charity was only to be used for what I felt was appropriate. I gave because I could give. What they did with that money was completely up to their discretion. But I know this would frustrate and perhaps even anger people who give, wanting their money to go specifically toward food or basic human necessities, not drugs or alcohol. They assume a degree of responsibility for the decisions of people they see as less fortunate, or rather just, less than and no one really wants to be an enabler.

This type of thinking has the power to condition potentially generous people to label and judge the homeless, which is wrong.

Whether you write checks at black tie charity events or you spare your change to homeless people on the street, either way, you are giving to people in need. Misappropriation of funds happens at all levels but enforcing accountability is not your responsibility.

Giving with conditions is not giving. It is controlled assistance. If you can't give up control than you probably shouldn't be giving.

Give because you can give. Give because you are grateful.

Living A Grateful Life

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  - John F. Kennedy


I was recently asked, "How does it feel to be receiving such positive feedback on Grateful Brand?"

I had to admit that it felt wonderful. People from across three continents have written me, sharing their stories and appreciation for what I was doing. The warmth was unexpected yet very much appreciated.

But I paused and remembered this quote from JFK. In truth, I love the emails and well wishes but the most flattering and meaningful show of appreciation that anyone could ever give to me would be to simply live a grateful life. As I mentioned in my first post to this blog on December 14, 2011, the inspiration for Grateful Brand came from a woman who metaphorically branded herself grateful. While, to this day, I still don't know her name nor where she might be to be able to thank her, I have chosen instead to live my appreciation for her and the inspiration she gave me.

Verbalized gratitude is a gesture that serves a moment in time with a call and response structure as with saying 'please' and 'thank you.' But imagine that response being an echo that continued to reverberate long after everyone has dispersed and there was no one's hand left to shake. This is what living a grateful life is.

What ever you are grateful for, do not limit your appreciation to saying 'thank you'. Live that thank you. Show instead of tell. Serve as an example by mustering kindness when the world seems to be frowning upon you. Extend your hand to help another while remembering the hands that have been extended to you. Share your time even in spite of limits.  

Your actions may go unacknowledged, but there is no greater expression of gratitude.

A Letter for You

On December 14th I announced the official launch of Grateful Brand with my inaugural post to this blog. This venture has been an idea; a dream for four years and over the past ten days you have been helping me bring that dream into fruition. 

My expectations have been exceeded tenfold and I am truly humbled and appreciative for the fact that you have given Grateful Brand your time and attention. This world is flooded with content of endless variety across dozens of different mediums, yet you have graciously taken the time to read and share what comes from my mind into your own life. You have shown me that my voice matters and that Grateful Brand is indeed a valid platform from which to spread this message of the importance of being grateful and expressing that gratitude through positive messaging and acts of kindness. But this is just the beginning. 

With your continued support, Grateful Brand will flourish and continue to inspire. I want people, the world over, to adopt a grateful brand of their own and serve as examples of what it truly means to be present, aware and at peace within their surroundings. We need to show more appreciation for ourselves, for our families, our neighbors, our communities, our environment and the world beyond our home borders. It begins with us.

In light of the holiday, I will be spending the next two days with my family and not posting to Grateful Brand. I will be using this time to reflect and remember what I am grateful for. I encourage you to do the same and share your thoughts through either commenting directly or emailing at gratefulbrand@gmail.com.


With every fiber of my being, I thank you with warm wishes for this holiday season. 


Dane Blackburn

Grateful Brand 

There are No Prerequisites for Being Grateful

Over the weekend I received some feedback regarding Grateful Brand that was very positive in the general scope of praise, but this individual alarmed me with what was, in my opinion, a very narrow and misguided viewpoint of the origins of gratitude and what one must be to experience what was stated as being, “true gratitude.”

For the purpose of this entry, we will refer to this individual as Mary.

With a warm embrace and encouragement to continue developing Grateful Brand, Mary asserted that, “We need more young Christian men like you in the world expressing their gratitude. Lord knows where we would be if there weren’t people like us.” 

I knew Mary’s intentions were well founded and because of her pleasant nature I did not have the heart to tell her that I did not identify with the Christian faith nor any faith for that matter, but that I am simply a privately spiritual person. I was alarmed because, in her mind, there was only one reasonable explanation as to why I could have been producing Grateful Brand and that reason was that I was a born again Christian. I had to be. Christianity was the absolute truth and there weren’t exceptions. But what if I was Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Mormon, a Scientologist or, dare I say, completely Atheist? Would it matter? Sadly, in Mary’s mind, I think it would.

I would like to give you a brief, assumed history of gratitude in relation to human beings. You’ll have to pardon me, though, as I am basing this assumption on logic and what limited anthropological education I have. I do not hold a PhD in evolutionary biology nor have I ever been to seminary. Based on what I know to be the nature of human beings, I would deduce that from mankind’s introduction to the world, we have been fighting for survival. It is a natural and instinctual response to express appreciation either behaviorally or through verbal communication in a effort to gain favorable odds for having that which is appreciated occur again, thus making survival easier, even if only by the slightest of margins.

Mary implied that to be “truly grateful,” one must have a relationship with the Christian God, otherwise, there would not be as much to be grateful for. Life could not possibly be as fulfilling. She may not have said it explicitly, but her convictions were forthright and expressed through who she was and how she functioned in her surroundings. What alarms me about this is that Mary is not alone. Billions of people around the globe would need to convert; need to change their belief system to live on a divinely higher plain, enabling them to express true gratitude. For the record, I completely disagree with this. To be grateful, you need only be human. It is this shared quality and being able to bestow kindness that produces gratitude.

The cyclical nature of gratitude is that people who have something to be grateful for perform acts of kindness. Mary may be a woman of strong conviction, but there are no differentiating values associated with the extent of her gratitude and my own. We are grateful.

I affirm anyone’s right to believe as they will, but I need only look back through history to know that religious differences have motivated the slaughter of millions of people over the course of our humanly existence. With beliefs so strong, I can understand how people can forget that we are all just human.        

Food for Thought and Candy for the Eye

I love venturing to the Hollywood Farmers Market on Sundays. Even if I don’t purchase anything, it’s still a pleasant place to spend time, people-watch and take in a little culture. There are so many wonderful things to see, smell and experience. The produce are always incredibly fresh and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I wish it wasn’t limited to just Sundays.

On this particular excursion I came across a very focused young woman who was writing poems with a vintage typewriter on her lap. Any subject you’d like for what ever you’d be willing to pay. I wish I had had some cash on me.

I also met a brilliant musician by the name of Phillip King who played the harp with incredible dexterity. Amazingly, he paired this classical based instrument with beat boxing. The combination was unexpected but magically, it worked.

                         

While walking home from the Market, I began to reflect on my experience there. It was all just so easily accessible. Quality food, food education, works of art, crafts of all sorts, music, the sense of community, laughter. It was, for me, normal: a typical Sunday morning. I then began to think about how many people in the city of Los Angeles simply lack the ability and resources to access such a wonderful market. But in relation to the world, Los Angeles is so small. There are millions of people on this planet that don’t have access to nutritious food and clean water. There are millions of people on this planet that lack the freedom to express themselves artistically. 
 

It is amazing to think how incredibly fortunate we are.  

What We Can Learn from a Molted Feather

This morning I enjoyed a wonderful exercise in interpretation and projection. Having been an English major with a heavy concentration in Poetry, I tend to examine and dissect literature, visual art, nature, inanimate objects and interestingly random occurrences, finding meaning in Life’s, often overlooked, small details.

As I opened my apartment door to let my two cats, Quarterback (QB) and Sadie, out into the courtyard, I noticed this feather positioned exactly as pictured on the railing directly in front of my door. “How peculiar,” I thought. I immediately returned for my handy iPhone to capture the photo. Personally, I find the symmetry to be quite beautiful.

I then began to think about the bird that may have lost this feather and whether or not it was still alive and, if so, able to fly without it. Judging by the ash-gray color, I would guess it once belonged to a pigeon, but I’m no ornithologist. I then began to think of myself as a bird and what species I might be. Then came the self-pity. Don’t judge. We’re all allowed every now and then.

I have experienced enough rejection in my quarter century to now be able to handle rejection of all sorts very well. However, I also like to think of myself as a veritable wagon wheel, but with more important things to support than a payload of bruised ego. This doesn’t mean, though, that I simply forget. Numerous opportunities I’ve pursued, people I’ve been completely enamored with, and jobs I’ve applied for have all fed me, “you’re not this and you’re not that and you don’t have this and you don’t have that,” and so forth and so on. Disappointment and hurt are alive and well, but after my moment of pity, reflecting on the metaphorical feathers that I don’t have and feeling like a little brown emu, I realized that I needed to get over myself.

I chose to believe that my pigeon friend, wherever he may have been, was alive and well and I returned to reality. If you watch enough National Geographic and Animal Planet, you’ll know that molting is a natural occurrence in most animal species and, in the case of birds, where one feather is lost, another eventually takes its place leaving flight uninterrupted.

I am not an emu. In fact, I believe I have more in common with that obnoxiously resilient pigeon than I initially thought this morning. I may not have or may not be many things but, nevertheless, I am flying. Perhaps not gracefully, but flying is flying.  For the ability to keep my feet ever so slightly off the ground, I am grateful.

And, if you think about it, there’s really no place I can go but up.     

Share your stories with me at gratefulbrand@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you.

  

Life: Beautiful, Not or In Between

While driving north on La Brea Ave or Highland Ave in Los Angeles, California toward Hollywood, it’s hard to miss the large “Life Is Beautiful” murals painted on the sides of two prominent buildings. And it’s true; if asked to give a simple yes or no answer to whether Life was beautiful or not, I would say that Life is indeed beautiful. But lets be honest about our understanding of Life and how we’ve experienced it. I’m sure you’ll agree that Life is all encompassing: yesterday, today, and tomorrow, the good, the bad, and the indifferent. I don’t mean to come off as being cynical—I agree with the obvious message captured in this artwork—but the murals also capture a simple, yet less obvious, truth as implied by the choice of colors and conceptual design.

The bold, white block lettering followed with an exclamation point implies optimism, truth, love, hope, good; a myriad of wonderful things that affirm the joys that contribute to making Life beautiful. But we would be delusional if we dared to assume that Life’s beauty is summed up in general positives. Life is easily corrupted with lies, hate, violence, injustice, struggle and this is illustrated by the dripping white paint, ascending from the letters themselves. As if being corroded naturally, the artist has given the city of Los Angeles a beautifully accurate visual metaphor for the city itself, and Hollywood in particular. So many people flock to Los Angeles in the pursuit of grand dreams only to leave mentally and physically crushed and penniless. This reality is further captured by the black background, which represents the balance between Life’s joys and pains.

This is a very random thought, but appropriate for the subject matter. I have an affinity for nature documentaries and while I enjoy observing and studying wildlife, the truth is, a lioness will nurture her cubs in one scene and will be hanging from the jugular of a zebra in the next, or will even destroy the offspring of competing species with fervent hatred. This is life, and this is just the way it is and, will continue to be.

The artist and optimist in me wants to see these murals inspire everyone who gazes upon them for many years to come, but, instead of believing solely that Life Is Beautiful, I must resign myself to believing that, in Life, there is beauty—of which the eye of the beholder should interpret and come to an individualized conclusion—scattered amongst everything else, and therefore, Life just is.

In believing that Life just is, though, I realize that I am taking away from the romance that comes with pondering Life’s meaning or purpose. But I want to assert that even if my interpretation on this artwork is completely misguided and I come off as being artistically uninformed, know with absolute certainty that I am grateful for Life: yesterday, today, and tomorrow, the good, the bad, and the indifferent.

Life is. And I am grateful.
       

Putting “Thank You” on a Scale

If your mothers or grandmothers were anything like mine, you’ll be able to attest to being constantly reminded of the importance of saying Thank You. As a child, if I received anything, be it a compliment, a snack, and on some occasions, even a scolding, the exchange would immediately be followed by that firm motherly voice, commanding, “What do you say?” By the time I received my queue to prove to whomever that I was a well-mannered child, I was usually fixated on something completely different. I was always quick to respond, but rarely was I able to maintain eye contact. This was forgivable. I was young.

Now, as an adult, being courteous is just standard protocol. I would go so far as to say that for most, it is akin to a reflex and, if you happen to lack this reflex, well then, you must be pretty important.

For the rest of you who remain in tune with your surroundings, I would like to give you something to ponder. What if we could apply a measurement to our Thank Yous, specifically, weight. This measurement would be a reflection of the degree of appreciation and sincerity associated with each individual Thank You that we utter. The heavier the Thank You, theoretically, the more appreciative and sincere you are. How heavy would the average of all of your Thank Yous be over the course of one month? Bear in mind that this is taking into consideration anything from thanking the bagger at your local grocery store to thanking the only compatible person in the world for voluntarily coming forth as a match for a vital organ transplant.

The point of this hypothesis is that the weight of a Thank You can mean the difference between someone wanting to return to their job the next day or not. It could be the unexpected boost that someone needs to feel like they matter in a world that doesn’t seem to care very much about them. You just never know.

With all of the technology at our disposal—regularly being carried—and because of how self-absorbed we all tend to be, I would wager that the average weight of a Thank You is pretty low, especially directed toward those whose occupations are solely designed to serve or convenience others.

Recently, I hosted a holiday gathering that also served as the makeshift birthday party for my friend, Pete’s, girlfriend. Not having very much money to put towards the occasion, I decided I was going to, instead, devote a little more time and creativity than I had initially planned. I bought some cheap wine, cooked a huge pot of Thai Yellow Curry and made a small Birthday Cake. Once the food was ready, I cleaned my studio apartment, put on some music and lit a mistletoe-scented candle. It was the best I could do but I knew it would be appreciated. Our little gathering went smashingly, candles were blown out, wishes were made and we finished the night in fine style.

The next day Pete called me. My immediate thought was that he had forgotten something but we briefly exchanged memories of the night before, laughing, but then he paused. “I needed to say Thank You again.” He told me how special he thought everything was and how much his girlfriend appreciated everything and I casually responded, “No worries, man. I’m glad you enjoyed.”

What Pete doesn’t know is that when I got home the night before, I looked at my place and thought, “I can’t do this again.” But his call changed everything. He didn’t have to, but Pete gave me a very heavy Thank You and knowing that my efforts were appreciated and knowing that I, as a person, was appreciated, meant a lot to me.

As you go forward, I expect that you will remain courteous, but I encourage you to put a little more weight behind your Thank Yous. Again, you never know what effect it may have.

Welcome to Grateful Brand

Welcome to Grateful Brand –

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

He couldn’t have said it better. Two thousand years ago, Cicero hit the nail on the head and today, in our time, I have created Grateful Brand to serve as a reminder of the importance of being grateful, expressing this gratitude through positive messaging and acts of kindness.

While our name will soon appear on various products, Grateful Brand is first and foremost a metaphorical badge: a way of thinking, and even a state of being. In 2008 I had an encounter with a woman who, without exaggeration, had been through more than most people could bear in the duration of a lifetime. Her experiences had weathered her far beyond her years yet she shared with me, with a charmingly warm disposition, one of the best phrases I’ve had the privilege of hearing.

“If nothing else, brand me grateful.”

With a youthful motion, she balled her fist and pretended to brand her hip, while making a clever “tsss” sound, as if her tattered overalls were being singed by a hot piece of iron. I realized that, for her, being grateful was a permanent state of being and that she was a better person for it. At the time, I was not capable of living as harmoniously with my own set of circumstances, yet I have held on to that phrase ever since and now, in spite of everything that has been and everything that has yet to come, I have chosen to adopt my own Grateful Brand.   

I am thrilled to finally take the plunge and openly share with you what, in truth, represents the core of my happiness and success. Through following my progress, I hope you will be inspired to spread this message and perhaps be encouraged to adopt a Grateful Brand yourself.

Many thanks,

Dane Blackburn