Think for a moment about how the responsibilities of the typical hetero-normative (or rather stereotypical) American home is divided based on gender.
Women cook, clean, tend to children, do laundry, organize social gatherings; all things that demand a woman's eye for detail, care and nurturing.
Men are typically left to matters of the garage and the yard; what some men would argue as being a kind gesture to save women from getting dirty.
While this stereotypical man only regularly assumes responsibility of the yard and matters of the garage, he is still granted the title of Head of Household for typically being the primary breadwinner.
The issue of women's rights is at the forefront of debate, yet again in the United States, and the issue at hand is whether or not women should have access to birth control through their employer provided insurance. Not surprisingly, many men and many conservatives disagree. My opinion on the subject does not matter, but I would like to present an observation of parallels.
As previously stated, men are stereotypically courteous by assuming responsibility of yard and garage related chores. Now, consider the automobile. For most people, the automobile is an extension of self; an appendage, if you will, that we control, use to impress, use to thrill and typically make a concerted effort to protect and maintain. This is a generalization, but men, being the breadwinners that they are, are allotted a smaller, sportier car with which to commute to and from work, while women are typically envisioned as house wives, soccer moms or working professionals who masterfully balance their careers and their homes. Regardless, women are typically seen in less glamorous sedans, SUVs and mini vans.
Being that men typically assume responsibility of matters pertaining to the garage, this would mean that they typically assume responsibility of a family's automobiles. The car, being an enjoyable extension of self is parked in the garage, which man claims as his own. Every tool, the lawnmower, craft, project, etc. are housed in the garage or a similar shed.
Now consider male anatomy in relation to female anatomy. Do you gather how male genitalia serves as an analogy for an automobile and how female genitalia serve as an analogy for a garage? The idea of controlling what happens and where things go in their presumed "garage" is the thought process behind much the current debate of contraception. Morality, ethics and faith based arguments are all convenient excuses that distract from the core issue at hand: there are men who, as a result of their beliefs, are resistant to giving up control of that which they deem as their entitled property. They are backed by their conservative allies, female colleagues and supporters who affirm the subservient role of a woman to a man.
This way of thinking will ultimately die off and become extinct because contrary to what many elected officials and their supporters believe, times are changing and have been changing from decade to decade. People are evolving and we are being forced to adapt to an ever changing social environment.
Sex happens. You may not see or hear it, but rest assured, it is happening.
Conservatism has an archaic habit of wanting to control and exploit women rather than equalize and support. The fact remains, women are not cars. You cannot park yourself, your legislation, rules or opinion in them just because you are in a role of leadership, or go so far as to think you own them.
Controlling is not being grateful for women. Protecting a woman's best interest, healthy and safety is expressing gratitude for women. There are many men who will simply fail to evolve and adapt in light of their presumed entitlement and authority. For example, Rush Limbaugh, the conservative radio host, has recently found himself in a precarious situation because of his outburst against Sandra Fluke, a law student arguing in favor of contraception. In an attempt to belittle and demean her, he called her a "slut" and a "prostitute," on his radio show, but it is his advertisers that are now abandoning him in droves. Surely, this was not the response he expected his inflammatory words to produce.
I would argue that the only people to find his remarks humorous would have probably looked like him, or older. There is also a strong likelihood that many of them were in their garages, listening on their hand held radios, comfortably in their ways, unwilling to adapt or evolve.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Women, Do You Enjoy Being Treated Like a Garage?
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Monday, February 13, 2012
Love: The Inspiration
Valentines Day is tomorrow but Love is the theme of the week on Grateful Brand. Why dedicate an entire week to this grand feeling ... this flagrant emotion?
Because love is the greatest thing that humans have ever produced. Love is bigger and more important than all of us. Yet, love is simple.
Artist, poet and writer, Kahlil Gibran, once wrote, "Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses naught nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love."
His beautiful summation of what many societies stretch into complex thought and protocol reminds us of what love is and how it functions in its sincerest form.
Whether you are acknowledging love with someone special or you are unattached, everyone can appreciate love's cultural influence over the human race. Some of the greatest literature and poetry have been written about love, some of the greatest songs ever sung have been sung about love and performances of endless variety have taken the stage inspired by love. Throughout history, men and women of incredible influence and power have utterly fumbled in the wake of falling in love. Every so often you hear of couples, together for most of their adult lives, dying within hours of one another, not wanting to be separated for a moment longer than necessary.
Take note, love does not revolve solely around romance. There is the platonic love shared between dear friends, familial love, and what the Greeks referred to as 'agape love' meaning unconditional love.
For some, love that has been lost or perhaps never fully manifested, evolves into leaving salt on wounds. But step back and consider all that has been and has yet to be inspired by love. I, myself, am unattached and have been for what feels like a long time, but seeing people in love display affection for one another makes me smile. I do not envy nor covet what they have between the two of them because love for me may one day be different. It may not emulate or reflect what I witness in others. I simply admire what they are sharing with one another at that point in time and take away inspiration from their humanity.
Let love into your life in what ever form it happens to occur. Exude love in return. You and the world will be grateful you did.
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Tuesday, January 31, 2012
A Letter For You: January
To my readers, my community, friends, family, the world and our Universe -
I honestly don't have the words to express how grateful I am for the inspiration you have given me. Looking back over the course of this month and especially back to Well Wishes For a New Year, there were times when I felt the goal of producing a daily blog post was too much. January has proven those thoughts very wrong as I have been inspired again and again, at exactly the right times and have repeatedly found myself in exactly the right places. It is very humbling to feel that Grateful Brand is steadily earning a sense of belonging and the opportunity to evolve while inspiring more and more people along the way.
To continue this evolution I want to share more of you. My stories, experiences and thought processes are limited upon considering that there's a world beyond my home, Los Angeles. So, I am asking you to share your thoughts with me. Share your stories. Tell me what's happening in your state or in your country that you are grateful for. Whether you're a poet, a photographer, film maker or song writer; it does not matter. If you are grateful for something, please share your perspective. I certainly look forward to your contributions enriching Grateful Brand.
This experience thus far has been one of the most fulfilling of my entire life and as we head into February, I hope the wealth of inspiration continues to flood my senses and GratefulBrand@gmail.com.
Here's to another happy and healthy month of kindness and gratitude.
Much love,
Dane
Grateful Brand
gratefulbrand@gmail.com
I honestly don't have the words to express how grateful I am for the inspiration you have given me. Looking back over the course of this month and especially back to Well Wishes For a New Year, there were times when I felt the goal of producing a daily blog post was too much. January has proven those thoughts very wrong as I have been inspired again and again, at exactly the right times and have repeatedly found myself in exactly the right places. It is very humbling to feel that Grateful Brand is steadily earning a sense of belonging and the opportunity to evolve while inspiring more and more people along the way.
To continue this evolution I want to share more of you. My stories, experiences and thought processes are limited upon considering that there's a world beyond my home, Los Angeles. So, I am asking you to share your thoughts with me. Share your stories. Tell me what's happening in your state or in your country that you are grateful for. Whether you're a poet, a photographer, film maker or song writer; it does not matter. If you are grateful for something, please share your perspective. I certainly look forward to your contributions enriching Grateful Brand.
This experience thus far has been one of the most fulfilling of my entire life and as we head into February, I hope the wealth of inspiration continues to flood my senses and GratefulBrand@gmail.com.
Here's to another happy and healthy month of kindness and gratitude.
Much love,
Dane
Grateful Brand
gratefulbrand@gmail.com
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Friday, January 27, 2012
What's a Family Supposed to Look Like?
A few weeks ago, I was walking through the tourists on Hollywood Blvd when something rather unusual happened.
A mother and father gave their young daughter a dollar and instructed her to give the dollar to a homeless woman leaning against a wall roughly five feet away from where they were standing. The little girl hesitated shyly as children do when interacting with strangers, but the parents encouraged her forward and praised her for doing such a good thing. I thought to myself, "Great job, Mom and Dad! Way to teach good character at a young age!"
Since then I have encountered various opinions of what a family is supposed to look like.
Personally, I believe that no one has the right to tell anyone else that the composition of their family is incorrect as long as everyone is healthy and loved. Your beliefs may tell you that your way and your way only is the correct way, but the love of a parent is universal.
I've heard that obese people should not be allowed to be parents, that single mothers were not adequate, that single fathers were incapable, that having two moms or two dads was morally wrong and a criminal disservice to any child, that adopting out of your race was foolish, that being raised by your grandparents or a grandparent was deficient, that having an excessive number of children was irresponsible and that practicing polygamists should be rounded up and jailed.
Love, above anything else, makes a family. As long as a child is happy, healthy and being taught principles of respect, honesty, fairness, responsibility, compassion, gratitude, friendship, peace, maturity and even faith, it should not matter who the teacher is, what they look like or who their partner is or if they are single.
Throughout American history, politics and religion have served to protect a standard of what a family is supposed to look like but this is changing and will continue to change.
I am grateful for anyone that has it in their heart to provide a loving home. Be it to your biological children or to those you've adopted.
A mother and father gave their young daughter a dollar and instructed her to give the dollar to a homeless woman leaning against a wall roughly five feet away from where they were standing. The little girl hesitated shyly as children do when interacting with strangers, but the parents encouraged her forward and praised her for doing such a good thing. I thought to myself, "Great job, Mom and Dad! Way to teach good character at a young age!"
Since then I have encountered various opinions of what a family is supposed to look like.
Personally, I believe that no one has the right to tell anyone else that the composition of their family is incorrect as long as everyone is healthy and loved. Your beliefs may tell you that your way and your way only is the correct way, but the love of a parent is universal.
I've heard that obese people should not be allowed to be parents, that single mothers were not adequate, that single fathers were incapable, that having two moms or two dads was morally wrong and a criminal disservice to any child, that adopting out of your race was foolish, that being raised by your grandparents or a grandparent was deficient, that having an excessive number of children was irresponsible and that practicing polygamists should be rounded up and jailed.
Love, above anything else, makes a family. As long as a child is happy, healthy and being taught principles of respect, honesty, fairness, responsibility, compassion, gratitude, friendship, peace, maturity and even faith, it should not matter who the teacher is, what they look like or who their partner is or if they are single.
Throughout American history, politics and religion have served to protect a standard of what a family is supposed to look like but this is changing and will continue to change.
I am grateful for anyone that has it in their heart to provide a loving home. Be it to your biological children or to those you've adopted.
Labels:
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Saturday, January 7, 2012
The Family We Choose
You are very fortunate if you can say that your family supports you unequivocally. There are people born every day into families who love their newborns because of a preconceived notion of what that infant will grow up to be. But when the desired path is strayed from and the ideal is not realized, there are many parents who justify disowning their children based on inflated standards, unwavering expectations or belief systems that profess hate as love.
This happens with alarming regularity but I cannot fully appreciate the agony that a disowned son or daughter might endure in light of not being wanted by their own flesh and blood. Even in spite of some differences, I personally have known nothing but unconditional love from my family. With that said, I still value the connections I share with not just the family I was born into, but the family I have chosen as well.
In all honesty, I spend more time with a select group of friends than I do with my own family. Over the years, bonds have been solidified that no amount of time spent apart or disagreement could extinguish. These people have become family but I needn't look at them and say, "you are my brother" or "you are my sister." They are my family because of how I feel when thinking of them.
When they are sick, I worry. I want to know that they are safe. Their happiness adds to my happiness and when the odds are against them, I hope for their success and cheer them on with all my might. I don't need to be reminded of what it means to be a loyal friend because of the familial urge I feel to be present, to be aware, to be protective. This is my instinctual response to a special group of people who have been exceptionally warm and welcoming to me.
I am a person that often needs time and space to myself but when left to my own devises I have a tendency to get lost in my thoughts and can lose sight of goals or begin to doubt my own potential to accomplish them. The remedy for this is my family and their encouragement: those whose blood I share and those I have chosen.
What makes the family we choose different from our biological families is that, in turn, they choose you as you choose them. We don't choose the family that we are born into. We are just accepted into the fold of our lineage with the hope that love stands the test of time.
While it is heartbreaking to know that some families are capable of turning their backs on their own children, I am grateful for those in the world who do not need specified criteria to be met or to share heredity to open their hearts to those who are simply in need of family.
They just choose to love.
This happens with alarming regularity but I cannot fully appreciate the agony that a disowned son or daughter might endure in light of not being wanted by their own flesh and blood. Even in spite of some differences, I personally have known nothing but unconditional love from my family. With that said, I still value the connections I share with not just the family I was born into, but the family I have chosen as well.
In all honesty, I spend more time with a select group of friends than I do with my own family. Over the years, bonds have been solidified that no amount of time spent apart or disagreement could extinguish. These people have become family but I needn't look at them and say, "you are my brother" or "you are my sister." They are my family because of how I feel when thinking of them.
When they are sick, I worry. I want to know that they are safe. Their happiness adds to my happiness and when the odds are against them, I hope for their success and cheer them on with all my might. I don't need to be reminded of what it means to be a loyal friend because of the familial urge I feel to be present, to be aware, to be protective. This is my instinctual response to a special group of people who have been exceptionally warm and welcoming to me.
I am a person that often needs time and space to myself but when left to my own devises I have a tendency to get lost in my thoughts and can lose sight of goals or begin to doubt my own potential to accomplish them. The remedy for this is my family and their encouragement: those whose blood I share and those I have chosen.
What makes the family we choose different from our biological families is that, in turn, they choose you as you choose them. We don't choose the family that we are born into. We are just accepted into the fold of our lineage with the hope that love stands the test of time.
While it is heartbreaking to know that some families are capable of turning their backs on their own children, I am grateful for those in the world who do not need specified criteria to be met or to share heredity to open their hearts to those who are simply in need of family.
They just choose to love.
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