'Tis Better to have Loved

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all. 

- Alfred Tennyson

If not Tennyson's most famous quote, these four lines from In Memoriam: 27 are certainly among his most revered. The truth captured in this stanza is obvious yet, for some, not easy to personally admit.

When relationships end, it is instinctual to begin patching the wounds of heartache. Some people feel a sense of failure, others may feel betrayed or slighted. Some couples may amicably recognize the necessity of parting ways but regret the circumstances that lead to their decision. Others may feel completely victimized while some simply grow apart. Lets not forget the commitment, "Till death do us part." There are indeed some couples who still hold true to their vows. 

Whatever the cause of your breakup may be, consider this quote from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice: "Why, tis an office of discovery, love." 

Although I am taking the line out of its contextual usage, the interpretation of love being a perpetual state or condition of discovery, or continued experience of learning is very useful to having a very important realization.

Pain may be hard to ignore, but pain should not overshadow one of your greatest achievements. 

You loved. 

Think about what love does to people. Your rationale, composure, judgement and focus can all be eroded due to loving someone, yet you mentally and physically commit to them, forming one of the most beautiful unions that two people can have. 

This union may not last forever and, in fact, it may end terribly, but never lose sight of the fact that you loved.

To be able to say that you have loved is undoubtedly something to be grateful for. There are people in the world who go their entire lives without having shared their love with another; have never discovered what they are emotionally capable of achieving. 

The anguish associated with a love that has been lost is unavoidable, but take pride in having loved. Know what you are capable of and be open to the possibility of sharing love again. 

Your Love or Their Love

Valentines Day has the power to turn generally positive, up-beat people into wallows of negativity. It happens without fail. These people are typically single or newly single and begin to succumb to the negativity rally as soon as the first Valentines Day advertisements appear on television, are heard over the radio or upon seeing displays in stores.

Society has a way of encouraging the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality which enforces the idea of being less than if you have less than your neighbor. The same applies to love and relationships. Many singles feel inferior or will allow themselves to become negative or even hateful and envious of those close to them or even strangers within their general periphery who seem to have the perfect love. Valentines Day is but an amplifier for these sentiments.

A fact that many singles fail to realize is that love shared between two people is a unique connection that can not be replicated. People can surely fall in love numerous times over the course of their lives but none of those connections is identical to another. 

To be covetous of another's love is foolish because it is impossible to have the connection that someone else has with their significant other. Once we acknowledge this, we must then deal with our feelings of loneliness and wanting our own unique connection. We must also be honest with ourselves and differentiate between love and lust, how both influence our emotional impulses and determine which is more important to us in the moment versus long term.

In spite of the billion dollar industry of love advice and consultation, I believe there is no better catalyst for attracting love than being positive. Exuding kindness, warmth, sincerity, being grateful ... all of these characteristics will be noticed and sought after in a sea of negativity. Unfortunately, we live in an age and time when gratification--in a general sense--is virtually instant, can be paid for and is typically only a few clicks of a mouse away thus conditioning us to approach love with the same sense of convenience.

Patience is one of the key components to making love last. Logically, if you are incapable of being patient nor happy in your search for love, one could not expect you to be patient with them while supposedly being in love.

So, to all my fellow singles out there, as you go forward, don't succumb to negativity when you are reminded that you do not have a significant other. Find joy in the fact that there are still people around you and in the world who believe in the pursuit of love. Be honest with yourself. If love is what you truly want, believe that there is a unique connection waiting for you, but be willing to be patient.

Be Love

Romance is wafting through the air.  Today is indeed the day when star crossed lovers make a concerted effort to celebrate their feelings for one another.

Seeing people feel new, special, utterly distracted with giddiness is beautiful.

I wish everyone the happiest of Valentines Days but I have a proposition for couples, singles, in betweens and otherwise.

Lets not approach this day from the perspective of needing to be in love to celebrate, but rather, let us all acknowledge this day as love. We all can be manifestations of love, caring about one another to a degree unseen before. Can you imagine the evolution of energy throughout the world? It would certainly make Valentines Day quite special for all.

There is a  movement steadily gaining momentum called Generosity Day. It is taking Valentines Day and making it more inclusive. The mission is to encourage everyone to give more; of themselves, their time, and their resources. Be helpful. Or simply cook a meal for a neighbor who you know is not as enthusiastic about the day, marketed specifically for lovers. Do something special for someone, whether you know them or not and encourage them to continue the trend.

We all can share in this day, making it special for everyone! Join me in being love.

This is a picture of two dear friends, in love, whom also are wonderful examples of what it means to be love as they both give of themselves. For example, they were kind enough to let me use this picture for Grateful Brand.

 

This song by Talib Kweli makes me smile. It's very fitting for this special day. I hope it inspires warm feelings or encourages you to scour through your playlists in search of great love songs.

 

Love: The Inspiration

Valentines Day is tomorrow but Love is the theme of the week on Grateful Brand. Why dedicate an entire week to this grand feeling ... this flagrant emotion?

Because love is the greatest thing that humans have ever produced. Love is bigger and more important than all of us. Yet, love is simple.

Artist, poet and writer, Kahlil Gibran, once wrote, "Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses naught nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love."

His beautiful summation of what many societies stretch into complex thought and protocol reminds us of what love is and how it functions in its sincerest form.  

Whether you are acknowledging love with someone special or you are unattached, everyone can appreciate love's cultural influence over the human race. Some of the greatest literature and poetry have been written about love, some of the greatest songs ever sung have been sung about love and performances of endless variety have taken the stage inspired by love. Throughout history, men and women of incredible influence and power have utterly fumbled in the wake of falling in love. Every so often you hear of couples, together for most of their adult lives, dying within hours of one another, not wanting to be separated for a moment longer than necessary.   

Take note, love does not revolve solely around romance. There is the platonic love shared between dear friends, familial love, and what the Greeks referred to as 'agape love' meaning unconditional love.

For some, love that has been lost or perhaps never fully manifested, evolves into leaving salt on wounds. But step back and consider all that has been and has yet to be inspired by love. I, myself, am unattached and have been for what feels like a long time, but seeing people in love display affection for one another makes me smile. I do not envy nor covet what they have between the two of them because love for me may one day be different. It may not emulate or reflect what I witness in others. I simply admire what they are sharing with one another at that point in time and take away inspiration from their humanity.

Let love into your life in what ever form it happens to occur. Exude love in return. You and the world will be grateful you did.